Question: Jake, I have this neighbor who has, I believe, a gay dog. Can dogs be gay? He squats when he pees, barks like a wussy, and is always needing attention. Is he gay or suffering from gender identity? Submitted by: Smokey Answer: Smokey, your question crosses into a subject that must be dealt with in an extremely tactful [...]

Question– Dear Jake: We all know which one tastes better, but which one is better for you, yellow or white corn tortilla chips? Also is is true that microwaving your nachos instead of toaster-ovening them can be hazardous to your hairline? -nacho maker Answer– Nice try, dude. Even thought you try to disguise your name as “nacho maker,” I know [...]

Question: Dear Jake, How come it is so hard for me to get a gig for my air band? We can totally wail. Seriously. Like we are way better at sweet-A rocker moves and tearin’ up the frets than any of the Metallica wanna be cover bands that I have ever seen. How come its so [...]