Jake's New Blog

Category: JKE

  • Divine Burrito

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    Question– Dear Jake… I was watching Simpsons the other night when Homer posed an interesting question. Could God microwave a burrito so hot that he himself couldn’t eat it? What do you think? Name: Sosj Answer– Well Sosj, It is good to know that you […]

  • asdr;kjfhsoiugTYDs

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    Question– asdr;kjfhsoiugTYDs Name: Tyler Healy Answer– Tyler, I’m so glad that someone has finally raised that issue in the interrogative form. You don’t know how many nights I have laid in my hammock wondering asdr;kjfhsoiugTYDs? When I finally figured out the answer, I thought that surely there must be […]

  • Euro Drivers

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    Question- Jake, I have always wondered why don’t the American’s and the English switch driving sides. Either way would work, either driving side or lane direction. That would make the mailmans job alot simpler. “I know from personal experience, I drive a street sweeper. […]

  • NM Pirate

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    Dear Jake, I know you know a lot of stuff, and this has been stumping me for quite some time, so if you could help me out I will greatly appreciate it. Please explain the attached souvenir magnet: Why might we see a begging, or […]

  • JKE, Reincarnated

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    As threatened, the latest version of JKE is now up and running. It can be found here, or at www.jke.jakesnewblog.com. I haven’t been able to get the style sheet to work right in IE 7, but it works fine in IE 8, Mozilla and Chrome. I haven’t tested it in Safari. So if you are…

  • 99 Cent Tacos

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    dear all knowing jake, for the last three years now, i have been on a quest to find the worlds best 99 cent taco. i have been everywhere. from tacobell to taco time to taco grande. but to my misfortune nothing has quite yet hit me as the worlds best. […]

  • Neil Armstrong’s Parents

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    (throwback from 2005) Question: What are the Names of Neil Armstrong’s parents? -Maria Gilbert Answer– I’m glad someone finally asked that. The cool part is that most people are probably thinking, “oh, Neil Armstrong, the one giant step guy,” but in reality, you are asking about Neil Armstrong, the famous electric fork […]

  • Get your Halloween on

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    10. Go early to buy as much dry ice as you can, before everywhere is sold out. 9. While you are at it, load up on eggs. 8. Write the name and telephone number of your defense attorney on the back of your hand, with a sharpie. 7. Sequins are always in, on Halloween. Better…

  • Preparations for Economic Meltdown

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    10. Start cutting coupons. Soon, that paper may be worth as much as paper money. 9. Buy Euros 8. Buy a gun, because when the economy tanks, crime always skyrockets. 7. Study effective methods of looting, rioting, and other forms of civil unrest, just in case you are called on to participate in it. 6.…

  • Get Ready for Fall

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    10. Dust off the stadium seats and take out a loan, so you can afford tickets to a Jets or Giants game, in the new stadium. 9. Start stretching those leave raking arms. 8. Forget about raking and just buy a leaf blower. 7. Since you can’t get a big enough loan to cover football…