Category Archives: JKE
Nessie v. Falkor
Jake, need your input…
Forgiving any breathing and transporting restrictions, who would you place money on in a cage fight between the Lochness Monster “our underwater ally” and Falkor the flying Luckdragon from “The Neverending Story”? Thx!
–his mom wears argyle socks
Hmwas, thanks for phrasing your question hypothetically. However, at this point, it is no longer necessary. [...]
Kirk vs. El Diablo
Capacitating Flux
Load in the draws
Dear Jake,
What is the longest word in the english language?….And how are the human circulatory system and lymphatic system alike? How are they different?
Name: Help Me I Pooped In My Pants!!!!
Answer–
Well, I hope for your sake that “Help Me I Pooped In My Pants!!!” is some sort of pseudonym. For convenience [...]
Bug Souls
Dear Jake,
Do insects have souls?
Name: Cream Filled
Answer–
The simple answer to your question, Cream Filled, is no. But the ironic part is that soles almost always have insects. At least knowing that insects don’t have souls should make people feel a little better about finding insects on their [...]
Man Perm
Dear Jake,
I dreamed the other night that I was hanging out with James and Lars from Metallica (it was totally awes) and I was still in high school I found Lars to be very charming with his slight German accent and feathery rocker hairdo. It was [...]
Cats and Plates
Dear Jake,
I went to my favorite oriental restaurant for a bite to eat last night and after my meal I received an odd fortune cookie, it said :”Tem um gato no meu prato”. I was hopping you could tell me what it means, I take my fortune cookies seriously.
–Mizzriam [...]
I miss space
Question–
Dear Jake,
Why is it that when I drop things they fall towards my feet? When I was in space that didn’t happen. Man I miss space.
Name: Armstrong, Neil
Answer–
Mr. Armstrong, I feel your pain. Unlike you, I have never been to space and had the luxury of having things just float around [...]
Tooth 4 Less
Question– How come the tooth fairy stopped giving me money and why won’t my teeth grow back?!?!?
Name: Tooth-4-Less
Answer-
Well, Tooth-4-Less, believe it or not, you are not the first one to ask this question. I actually had lunch with the tooth fairy the other day and it turns [...]