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Jake, need your input…
Forgiving any breathing and transporting restrictions, who would you place money on in a cage fight between the Lochness Monster “our underwater ally” and Falkor the flying Luckdragon from “The Neverending Story”? Thx!
–his mom wears argyle socks
Hmwas, thanks for phrasing your question hypothetically. However, at this point, it is no longer necessary. As hard as the International Wizards, Freaks, and other Dorks Society tried to keep the upcoming fight under wraps, word has leaked. It was kind of inevitable, given the amount of time that IWFoDS has been trying to arrange this thing. Part of the hold up was, as you correctly alluded to, because IWFoDS was still trying to secure funding for Nessie’s amphibious breathing gear. IWFoDS held a fundraiser on 4chan, but ultimately they were not able to purchase the aparatus.
To even the playing field (literally) they decided that the fight would be split into two segments. The first half will be held in a cage on dry land. The second half will take place underwater. In a fair fight, Nessie wouldn’t even survive the first half of the fight. Falkor can fly, has sharp teeth and claws. Lets be real, when is the last time you heard of a dragon getting flippered to death? But for this cage match, my money is going to be on Nessie. I just found out last night that the fight is fixed. Falkor is going to fake-drown 10 minutes into the underwater portion of the fight.
Apparently one of the IWFoDS freaks who organized the fight, pissed off a bunch of trolls during the 4chan fundraiser. As a result, the trolls threatened erase his World of Warcraft profile, if he didn’t arrange for Falkor to lose.
So there you have it: Falkor takes a dive in the second.
