Dear Jake,
I dreamed the other night that I was hanging out with James and Lars from Metallica (it was totally awes) and I was still in high school I found Lars to be very charming with his slight German accent and feathery rocker hairdo. It was a shocking but inspiring experience. What does it all mean? P.S. BHS CLASS OF ‘95 RULZ!
Name: Bring back the man-perm!
Answer–
BB, Imma tell ya, you aren’t the first person who has told me about that dream. Do you think that you are the only one who ever read the August 1991 issue of Slay on! magazine? Yeah, I read it too, the story about Lil’ Jennica Hodgeson from Buttsmouth Arkansas who won the trip to hang out with Metallica on tour for a day. She described Lars in the exact same way that you did in your question. You do raise an important issue though. It is the downfall of humankind that we are witnessing on a daily basis. Men aren’t sensitive enough anymore to wear the man-perm. That is basically what it boils down to. If we could some how introduce the man-perm again, maybe men would revert to being more sensitive and we could all just rock out instead of blowing stuff up.
Get it?
–Jake