I read an article this week that really shook me up. I don’t feel like that happens very often . I guess it was because the subject matter hit so close to home. The piece appeared in GQ this month, titled “Unreachable” and was written by Karl Taro. It is about the author’s adult autistic brother, and the various institutions that he has been in and out of, over the years. I feel like its relevance to my life is two fold. The photo above was taken at my sister Mimi’s wedding a few years ago. Those are all of my sisters, minus Melinda. The one in the middle, Laura, is also autistic. My parents adopted her when she was 3 years old, I was in my early teens. Because of that, my family and I have gone through the same roller coaster of guilt, frustration, etc. that author of the article outlines in his story. Laura is now in her early 20’s. My parents have been preparing for years, to get her placed in a home that everyone feels comfortable with, and the plan appears to be near fruition.
The other reason that this article hit home, is because of Piper. Sometimes it still blows my mind when I try to figure out why God chose me to be the earthly guardian of a little special needs child. At times, has been a very difficult affair. I believe that the complication of logistics pale when compared with the emotional difficulties that are associated with having a special needs child. The article discusses the autistic boy’s transition to adulthood and the unspeakable things that befell him, during his tour of assisted living facilities. It made me shudder to think that anyone would ever mistreat a person who is already struggling through life like that. It also gave me a moment of sheer panic, thinking that Piper might some day be the victim of some awful act, and not even have the ability to tell anyone about it. Right now while Piper is a baby, it is easy for people to love her because she is so small and cute. The article made me wonder though, what will it be like when she grows up?
I’m realizing that this post has turned out to be kind of negative and a bit fatalistic. I didn’t really mean for it to be like that. I guess that the mitigating factor in all of this, is that ultimately I believe that God is in control. I believe that no matter what happens, he will make things right, whether it is in this life or the next. That knowledge gives me comfort.
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3 responses to “Thought Provoking”
Wow, Jake this made me tear up! You must be a great dad to be entrusted with Piper’s care here on earth. We love Laura and are always so happy to see her as well, kids with disabilities are very special and should make every person grateful to know them!
It doesn’t seem negative to me, it seems realistic. It’s facing the fear instead of being in denial that everything doesn’t go just as we want it to or hope for it to go. One thing I do know is that God is in charge, and we get to stay in a place where we can hear his words, especially in behalf of our little (or big) ones. I also know he has a plan for our special ones (and for us) and he does not waste one little thing–event, experience, etc. An example of this is last Monday, I gave Mason (Laurie’s baby) a little corn chip and as I handed it to him, a little piece of it fell to the ground. He immediately searched for it and found it, making sure that he had it, too, in addition to the large part. I have seen Sophie do the same thing–every crumb is noticed and identified. That is one part of a little child that is God-like–every little sigh, scrape, tear, whatever–is noted by Him, and he succors us.
Thanks. I agree with you 100% – right on. I don’t have a special needs child- but I’ve thought a little about it. (What if?)Plus, any person who feels protective of the child-like is horrified by crap like that. (I love that Down Syndrome girl who bags my groceries at the store.) Your perspective is …soothing? It’s hard not the feel like something is ruined forever when a child (or someone like a child) is abused. But… FAITH in a Savior who makes it right gives me hope.